7.14.2011

The Low Down

First off, thank you for all your congratulations and kind words. We have some awesome friends and we are so happy to finally be sharing baby #3 with you all!

So... here is a breakdown of this pregnancy- all the ups and downs. It's going to be honest... and maybe a little TMI. And on the lengthy side, with some pictures in between to make it bearable :)

The beginning: March 5th. We were at Wal-Mart and we were deciding if we should buy a pregnancy test or not. Since I had just had a baby 7 months ago, I hadn't quite gotten back on track period wise. I had an idea of what it was like, but I was already stretching that 'late' mark out by now. Plus, I had been noticing the past week that my appetite was off. But I passed it off as nothing, noting that I wasn't any extra tired than I normally was so all was well (the things we tell ourselves to avoid the obvious, right?). There was definitely a 'feeling' that I was, which I tried to downplay to Brad (don't give the guy a heart attack until those two lines appear!). We got the cheap test and head home, a little nervous.
Baby at 8 weeks
Get home, decide why not take the test now. Test taken. Lines?... or line?... or lines?... there? Is that a line? Definite vertical line, but the horizontal line on our 'plus' was baaaarely, if at all, discernible. Not wanting to chance our 'yes' or 'no' on a barely there line, Brad being the awesome husband that he is, runs back to WalMart and comes home with a double pack of the digital pregnancy test. Bless his heart! Take another test that night... 'error'. Are you freaking kidding me???? Ridiculous!!! Needless to say, I was none to happy and a tad on the anxious side. But we would wait till morning. Morning comes and... well... only one word showed up: Pregnant. I couldn't believe it. Neither could Brad. That was a loooong day for us.

Feelings: So many feelings went through me that day, and the week following. Honestly, none of them all that good. I felt anger, panicked, sad, overwhelmed, etc. Most of all, I felt guilt. I would just look at Gavin and start crying. I had been looking forward to watching my two little boys grow up a little and have them all to myself for the next two years... and now I was going to have to divide my time between three? I felt like I was robbing Gavin of his time. I had a really hard time accepting that it was all happening, and that it was all good. I couldn't see past the haze of selfishness and guilt. 
Baby's foot
I was also bleeding. Not a scary amount, but enough to wonder what was going on. I scheduled an appointment for that week with my doctor. He checked me out, did an ultrasound on the outside of my belly to make sure it wasn't an ectopic pregnancy, and guessed me due October 27th. I also got my blood drawn. In a few days, I got it drawn again to make sure my hormone levels were going up and no miscarriage. Obviously, everything was great. 
Bump at 15 weeks
Acceptance: After I wallowed in self pity for a week or so, I finally started to pull out of the shock. I began to accept it. It was obvious this little spirit had to come now, for some reason. I then had another appointment so we could see baby. I saw him on the screen and I just felt peace. Peace was a feeling much needed at this time :) A few days later, I had more of a breakthrough. I had flashbacks of trying to get pregnant, overcome with what that felt like. What would I rather be going through- struggling to get pregnant again or having a surprise pregnancy? The answer was simple: I was grateful and happy for this little person inside of me. I was blessed to have this little spirit. We will be blessed to have him. It may be rough, but it can be done. As one of my friends said to me, how can you not be happy about a baby? With that, I came around. I started to be happy, to look forward to welcoming him. But we still weren't going to tell people yet :)

Spilling the beans: First person I told was a friend in the ward. She watched James for me the first few appointments. I had to tell someone and talk to someone- so grateful for her listening ear :) At week 14, we told our parents but told them to wait to tell our siblings. When we were pregnant with Gavin, we had talked about keeping our third a secret longer. Having it be this early, it cinched the deal :) After that, started telling it to friends here. They'd figure it out soon enough- was already showing! May 25th, a day before my 18 week mark, we had the ultrasound to show us our third little boy (and I guessed right, by the way- go me!) Then we told our siblings, but wanted to wait to tell everyone else. After that, either you knew because you were family or because you saw me. And then came the blog announcement :)
Thus far: Here we are, hitting the 25 week mark today. The pregnancy has really flown by. My morning sickness was "worse" this time- as in, the nausea lasted all day instead of just parts of the day. I know I am totally and completely blessed in that department. I felt the baby move at 17 weeks, and he really started moving at 22 weeks. I am constantly tired. For the first time, raw meat completely grosses me out. I always thought that was funny when girls said that about being pregnant- not so funny anymore. I'm better now, but I still don't like it. Blech. I am super happy it is another boy. Can't wait to see these boys grow up together! It is a definite c-section again. You can have two c-sections and still have the option of a VBAC, but since Gavin's birth was a partial abruption the doctor doesn't think it is in our best interest. And I'm with him- just get it done. We'll see if he can come in a boring, scheduled surgery. 
25 weeks!
I think that's basically it. Still reading this? I know, it was long. Again, we are happy for this little boy to join us in our family. We know it's not going to be easy- Gavin and baby #3 will be 14 1/2 months apart. James doesn't turn 3 until the end of December- that is 3 under 3. Someone has more faith in me than I have faith in me as a mother, I tell you what! I love our little boy, I know he is coming at the right time for him. I am so grateful for my Heavenly Father for helping me through this. For trusting me with another child. Just for all the many blessings we have had and are continuing to receive. He truly is with us always, watching out for us. 

Lastly... you better believe I am on the lookout for an awesome tie pattern... going to be making lots of those! Oh, I can't wait to get these boys all matchy-matchy for Christmas and Easter (and anything in between!). 

17 comments:

  1. that is so exciting! you are great. congrats.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Glad you posted the whole story, I was dying to know! :)
    My mom had three under two, no twins. My little sister was born about a week before my older sisters third birthday. And my mom was 39/40 at the time. If she can do it, you can SO do it! You're awesome!!
    Funny about the ties, I'll never have to shop/make/buy ties or suits or scout uniforms or anything... but that's all I see in your future. :) And three boys on missions, overlapping... let's not think about that!
    Have fun and good luck with the rest of the pregnancy. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh, P.S. kind of funny we are pregnant at the same time again, too bad we aren't neighbors anymore. :) Oh well...

    ReplyDelete
  4. P.P.S. I meant my little sister was born about a week before my older sisters SECOND birthday, not third...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Congrats again! I have to tell you though, your dad isn't as good of a secret keeper as you may think! He totally spilled the beans to Christina at church a loooong time ago. Oops. Ha! Christina and I were like "when is she going to blog it?!"

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ugh...bleeding during pregnancy sucks! Totally been there. So happy everything turned out great. Three boys will be awesome. Also, I just wanted to say that I totally knew something was up when we skyped back in March. You seemed off and really tired/stressed. I even told Sam that I thought you were pregnant but then just passed it off because I thought, nah, too soon! Ha!

    ReplyDelete
  7. All your kids will definitely have their own unique story! Each will know he is a blessing from Heavenly Father to you and Brad.

    ReplyDelete
  8. So happy for you! I think I would have been freaking out etc all the feelings you mentioned as well! :) I have a tie pattern I like from theribbonretreat.com
    It has one for your "big guy" too so that daddy and boys can all match. :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Ahhhhhhh so so soo happy for you. That pic of you doing your arms like that made me laugh cause I thought, oh that's the Amy I know!! lol You are GLOWING and your belly is so stinking cute. Straight out. You are so so soooo blessed. Love ya girl. Can't wait for you. And as for the 3 under 3, you do what you gotta do ya know? Don't even doubt yourself. You can do it 110%. Maybe I'll try making you some bow ties! I am all about the girl realm right now, it would be nice to take a break for a moment!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Such a great post....really, so good! Those were the same crazy feelings I felt when we were pregnant with what was #3. Life is going to be crazy, but I can definitely see that it's going to be amazing. Three under three...that's wild! Just wait until the teenage years, then when they're all missionaries back to back! Crazy. Crazy fun.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thanks for posting the story I was curious too! ha ha :D You are just too cute when you are pregnant! I hope it all goes well!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I turn Job's ties into Porter's. Super easy and cute

    ReplyDelete
  13. I LOVE LOVE LOVED reading all this, your perspective and feelings are what I would imagine I would have felt at first...actually, I seriously cannot IMAGINE going through what you have gone through these past few months emotionally! I mean, that would be taking a preg. test like, NOW!! AHHH!! I would NOT do well with it. HOWEVER, as you have said, and so eloquently I might add, the whole "eternal perspective" really helps and is blessing your lives. We are SO excited for you guys!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. 3 under 3 sounds extremely terrifying to me, but I know you can do it! Go you!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Amy, as you know...I've had similar experiences to you only backward. My FIRST child was the surprise, and subsequent babies have been long and hard fought for infertility miracles. Anyway..I understand your initial reaction. when I found out that I was expecting Andrew, I was not happy. I cried. My husband was pleased and excited, while I sat in the bathroom on the floor and cried. I was not expecting it at all..and was scared. I was so young, we were still students! Had no money, our apartment was teeny tiny, etc. I came around after a couple of weeks, much like you have this time. In the end, it is really never about our timing, is it?! If there's one thing I've learned through my years and years of Secondary Infertility struggles, it's that as much as I think I have control - I do not. Only Heavenly Father can make these plans for us!

    As you embark on the journey of 3 little boys, I just wanted to tell you that it'll be the most amazing experience of your life. Having 3 little men myself, I can tell you that I wouldn't trade it for anything in this world. Just typing about my 3 little boys brings tears to my eyes. They're so wonderful, Amy!! I'm so pleased for you to join the 3 boy mom club. Welcome. =)

    ReplyDelete
  16. Thanks for sharing that. Your thoughts and feelings would echo mine if I were to be pregnant again surprisingly except I'd probably be more selfish in my thoughts, not guilty about my other child.
    You're a great mom! I'm happy for you guys. Heavenly Father is mindful of you!

    ReplyDelete