Home at Last

Yesterday afternoon Jack and I came home. Oh, it is so good to be home. 

Friday went exactly as planned. Brad and I were both so nervous that something would happen- Jack did great and came with no drama. We got to the hospital at 7am, got hooked up to monitors and an IV, slowly answered questions, talked to the nurses, relaxed... it was so weird having it go so slowly. The anesthesiologist came in and talked to me- she was awesome. My doctor came to see me at 9 and then we headed to the OR. Again, felt so weird calmly going in for the surgery. The anesthesiologist gave me my numbing shot before the spinal- holy freak, that hurt. I wondered after why I don't remember that shot hurting that much- yeah, I was in labor and dying for the spinal so that shot did not phase me as much. Then the spinal was given and worked it's magic. After getting prepped, the curtains were brought up and Brad was able to come in and sit next to me. I just held his hand, anxiously awaiting that first cry. And then I started crying- I was scared. I just wanted to hear him cry, just wanted to make sure he was okay, just wanted to hold him. The anesthesiologist was so sweet and made sure I was happy crying. Then she got the curtains ready and Brad popped up to see little Jack make his debut. Once again, the first cry was magical. Oh, how I love that moment. 

From this point on, the delivery was very different (in a good way!) than my other deliveries. What usually happens after a c-section is they take the baby away right away with daddy to get the umbilical cord cut, weighed, measured, washed, etc. Then they bring them to the mommy so she can meet them for a bit and take them away during the rest of the surgery and recovery. With James, I got to give him a little kiss after his bath and didn't see him for another hour. With Gavin they cut the cord, wrapped him up, let me kiss him, and then again took him away for an hour. This time they brought Jack to the side right after being delivered so I could see him- so I got to see him in all his messy goodness, which I've never seen before.  Then they took him away with Brad to get his cord cut (which daddy proudly did) and brought him back to me for the rest of the surgery. Oh my goodness, I cannot express how entirely amazing and wonderful this experience was for me. To have this immediate skin-to-skin, holding my baby while they finish the surgery, to have him with me in recovery. So so so amazing. They only took him away to bring him into recovery before me and weigh him. Then I got him back right when I was wheeled in. 

We love this little boy so very much. I am always amazed at how quickly you can love something you have barely seen. Jack definitely has a place in my heart and I just can't help but soak him up. James loves Jack and cannot get enough of him. Gavin loves him and gives him kisses like crazy- which is saying a lot, because that little guy does not hand those out easily. It warms my heart seeing them all together. 

Now we are home, adjusting to everything. Hardest part is definitely not being able to hold James and Gavin. I wish I could just scoop them up, but I have to wait a little longer to heal. Every day I feel better and better. I am so grateful for Brad being with me at the hospital and coming home at night to help put the boys to bed. I am so grateful for my mom and sister giving their time and energy to my little boys. All I can say is how unbelievably happy I am and I just love my family!