Inappropriate

Forewarning: This is a venting post- I am pretty fed up with something and feel like I need to voice my frustrations. So read on if you like. I am going to try as hard as I can to be nice. This post is not intended to offend others, but I need to speak up.
I know I have mentioned on here before several times how I have been accused of having an eating disorder before, almost my entire life. I usually mention it in a light-hearted way because it is in my past and I had come to terms with the fact that people are always going to assume what they want of me by the way I look. Fine. But now a lot of my insecurities and hurt have resurfaced because I have felt VERY attacked while being pregnant about my weight and my appearance. It hurts more now that I am pregnant because I am beyond happy with how it is all going and to have people be judgmental about such a happy time in my life just doesn't make sense. I understand if you approach me in a loving way and ask me how I am doing health wise. I am very open about it. But this hasn't really been happening. It has come in harsh tones or having to hear it from other people.
My pregnancy facts:
- I have gained almost 40 pounds (and counting).
- I am MORE than okay with gaining this weight- in fact, I smile and clap every time I see the scale go up at the dr's office!
- The doctors have said I am at a perfect measurement for my point in the pregnancy.
- They have also said our little boy is on the road to being at least 7 1/2 pounds at birth
- I eat every meal (and then some) and I eat healthily (and not so healthily at times).
Some people have been 'concerned' that I am not okay with gaining this kind of weight, that maybe I have kept myself from eating so I would not gain weight anymore. What kind of person do you think I am? We tried for three years to get pregnant and when we finally do, I am going to starve myself and my baby because I am so shallow as to care that much about my body changing- really? I mean, really?
Here is the truth- It. Is. In. My. Genes. Hi, it's called fast metabolism. Yeah, these people have obviously not seen who my family is because we all look like this!!! I may be the skinniest of the girls in my family, but that is only because for some reason I was skipped with the bad thyroid.
Is it socially acceptable to go around telling people, "You know, you are kind of fat. Are you eating the right foods?" "You really should do something about being overweight. It doesn't look good." No, I don't think it is. But for SOME reason it is okay to approach someone like me and be like, "You know, you are skinny. Do you eat enough? You look anorexic. Or is it something else?..." "You just don't look healthy. You are way too skinny." "You look sickly because you are soooo skinny!" I am aware, thank you. No, for the UMPteenth time, I am NOT anorexic or bulemic- never have been, never will be.
Saying these types of things hurt, people. It is still quite unhealthy to be underweight and not that much fun. Do you know how many times I have cried and just hated myself from these types of comments? And to be getting them while I am pregnant? It's mean. Here are some things that just are not okay to say:
- "You finally look pregnant" Umm... I've been showing for a while. Maybe not as huge as other women, but hey, that's my body type.
- "You finally look like a healthy size" Really- did you go to medical school? Because I'm pretty sure my dr's would of filled me in A LOT earlier if they didnt' think I was a healthy size before.
- "You don't look pregnant!" Well, that makes me feel so great! I never had a gut like this before...
- "Do you know it's okay to gain weight?" Yes, yes I did.
- "You aren't fat in the face or arms- you aren't gaining enough" I do believe the scale telling me that I have gained 40 pounds would differ. Just because it isn't obvious doesn't mean the weight gain is not there.
Those are just a few comments I have gotten within the past few months, since I have found out the sex of our baby. I don't understand why people think it is okay to say these things. It's hurtful and petty. I am happy with my pregnancy, my doctors are happy with my pregnancy, Brad loves me being pregnant. Why can't others just be happy that we are finally pregnant? Why do they always have to come back to my weight and be so negative about it- pregnant or not pregnant? If you have questions or concerns about my weight, ask me. Talk to me. Get it from the source and not your own assumptions. You could learn a thing or two. What hurts the most is a lot of these comments are coming from people I have known for a while. I just don't get it.
Go ahead and keep making these comments- I know they'll never stop. I really should be used to it by now. But I am not taking it anymore. It's not right that you can say whatever the heck comes to your mind about my weight, like you have some right to it, and I have to just stand by and say nothing because I'm 'the skinny one'.
I don't know why people have done this and continue to attack me and my body appearance. This is who I am- I am a person who has a very difficult time gaining and maintaining weight, who can eat basically anything (for now) with no consequences. These comments and others have actually made me scared about how people will react once the baby is born. I have no idea if the weight will just fall off, like it usually does, or if I'll have to work at it. But I don't want people to dislike me for it- again, this is just who I am. I cannot change my genetics.