Forewarning: This is a venting post- I am pretty fed up with something and feel like I need to voice my frustrations. So read on if you like. I am going to try as hard as I can to be nice. This post is not intended to offend others, but I need to speak up.
I know I have mentioned on here before several times how I have been accused of having an eating disorder before, almost my entire life. I usually mention it in a light-hearted way because it is in my past and I had come to terms with the fact that people are always going to assume what they want of me by the way I look. Fine. But now a lot of my insecurities and hurt have resurfaced because I have felt VERY attacked while being pregnant about my weight and my appearance. It hurts more now that I am pregnant because I am beyond happy with how it is all going and to have people be judgmental about such a happy time in my life just doesn't make sense. I understand if you approach me in a loving way and ask me how I am doing health wise. I am very open about it. But this hasn't really been happening. It has come in harsh tones or having to hear it from other people.
My pregnancy facts:
- I have gained almost 40 pounds (and counting).
- I am MORE than okay with gaining this weight- in fact, I smile and clap every time I see the scale go up at the dr's office!
- The doctors have said I am at a perfect measurement for my point in the pregnancy.
- They have also said our little boy is on the road to being at least 7 1/2 pounds at birth
- I eat every meal (and then some) and I eat healthily (and not so healthily at times).
Some people have been 'concerned' that I am not okay with gaining this kind of weight, that maybe I have kept myself from eating so I would not gain weight anymore. What kind of person do you think I am? We tried for three years to get pregnant and when we finally do, I am going to starve myself and my baby because I am so shallow as to care that much about my body changing- really? I mean, really?
Here is the truth- It. Is. In. My. Genes. Hi, it's called fast metabolism. Yeah, these people have obviously not seen who my family is because we all look like this!!! I may be the skinniest of the girls in my family, but that is only because for some reason I was skipped with the bad thyroid.
Is it socially acceptable to go around telling people, "You know, you are kind of fat. Are you eating the right foods?" "You really should do something about being overweight. It doesn't look good." No, I don't think it is. But for SOME reason it is okay to approach someone like me and be like, "You know, you are skinny. Do you eat enough? You look anorexic. Or is it something else?..." "You just don't look healthy. You are way too skinny." "You look sickly because you are soooo skinny!" I am aware, thank you. No, for the UMPteenth time, I am NOT anorexic or bulemic- never have been, never will be.
Saying these types of things hurt, people. It is still quite unhealthy to be underweight and not that much fun. Do you know how many times I have cried and just hated myself from these types of comments? And to be getting them while I am pregnant? It's mean. Here are some things that just are not okay to say:
- "You finally look pregnant" Umm... I've been showing for a while. Maybe not as huge as other women, but hey, that's my body type.
- "You finally look like a healthy size" Really- did you go to medical school? Because I'm pretty sure my dr's would of filled me in A LOT earlier if they didnt' think I was a healthy size before.
- "You don't look pregnant!" Well, that makes me feel so great! I never had a gut like this before...
- "Do you know it's okay to gain weight?" Yes, yes I did.
- "You aren't fat in the face or arms- you aren't gaining enough" I do believe the scale telling me that I have gained 40 pounds would differ. Just because it isn't obvious doesn't mean the weight gain is not there.
Those are just a few comments I have gotten within the past few months, since I have found out the sex of our baby. I don't understand why people think it is okay to say these things. It's hurtful and petty. I am happy with my pregnancy, my doctors are happy with my pregnancy, Brad loves me being pregnant. Why can't others just be happy that we are finally pregnant? Why do they always have to come back to my weight and be so negative about it- pregnant or not pregnant? If you have questions or concerns about my weight, ask me. Talk to me. Get it from the source and not your own assumptions. You could learn a thing or two. What hurts the most is a lot of these comments are coming from people I have known for a while. I just don't get it.
Go ahead and keep making these comments- I know they'll never stop. I really should be used to it by now. But I am not taking it anymore. It's not right that you can say whatever the heck comes to your mind about my weight, like you have some right to it, and I have to just stand by and say nothing because I'm 'the skinny one'.
I don't know why people have done this and continue to attack me and my body appearance. This is who I am- I am a person who has a very difficult time gaining and maintaining weight, who can eat basically anything (for now) with no consequences. These comments and others have actually made me scared about how people will react once the baby is born. I have no idea if the weight will just fall off, like it usually does, or if I'll have to work at it. But I don't want people to dislike me for it- again, this is just who I am. I cannot change my genetics.


  1. I love you Amy and I'm proud of you for "venting" your feelings! You tell 'em!! And Lance said "good for her" and he also wanted me to say Ace said "Hi and he agrees with you too!" So there you go! :)

  2. I wish Sam had inherited a bit of your same genetics hehee...you are BEAUTIFUL no matter what. I'm glad you vented, serves those meanies right.

  3. Way to go Amy! I think you look GREAT and you definitely look pregnant. :) Steve has extremely high metabolism too and was super skinny when we got married, and people always accused me of not feeding him or something... why do people think its any of their business, anyway???

  4. We've had the same problem throughout our marriage - for dad, obviously. People acted like I didn't feed him either. He cannot help his fast metabolism any more than I can help my hypothyroidism! Luckily we married each other for love! I commented today that our tree was short and cute; he said, "Just like you"! Tee-hee!

  5. it's frustrating when people say stupid things. i had a guy in our ward say when i was 9 months pregnant, "i felt so sorry for you when you walked in today!" i just looked at him and thought, "really, did you just say that?"

    i think you look great too.

  6. Sing it again, sista!! I am not as beautifully thin as you are, but I have in the past been accused of having an eating disorder as well. It's incredibly hurtful and well, rude. Very very rude. And for people to be insinuating that you are not eating properly to care fo your baby? Amy, I am SO SORRY. That is totally unacceptable.

    pssst...I gained 55 pounds with my last baby. It's ALL GOOD.

    Hang in there! And I agree with the others, you look stunning. Such a cute perfect baby bump!!

  7. oh, and it probably will all melt off rather quickly after he is born, especially if you breastfeed. I have super high speed metabolism too, and my weight was gone within weeks with my first and second babies. It has stuck around a little more with #3.

  8. Lol. That was awesome! So I know how you feel partially because I have always had a fast metabolism too and people would always call me "skinny" I hated it. I would rather be called slender. :) There was a lady in our home ward that from behind she didn't look pregnant but from the side and the front you could obviously tell. :) I think that it is cool! Plus don't people realize that with your first pregnancy your abdominal muscles are tighter. I like you look really cute. I'm sorry that people are saying things like that. Hang in there.

  9. the real story, is that most (if not all) of those that are saying hurtful things about you, are generally jealous. Seriously! (btw, i'd give my left arm if someone accused me of being thin).

    some people feel threatened when they see someone who doesn't have to work at losing weight etc. instead of being happy for them, they have to find fault to justify their own insecurities.

    just like the "pretty" or "popular" girl, those who feel they aren't, dislike the one's they think are.

    it all boils down to being jealous imo.

    don't give them the time of day, their attitude should be a waste of your time. just consider the source and move on. ;-)

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  11. Hi Amy, you don't really know me. I am friends with Brads family and it's been a while since I have seen him. I think your wedding. I happened upon your blog. But good for you. You need to stick up for yourself. Personally, I agree with Forrest. I would give both my arms to hear someone say I am skinny. Everyone is always calling me fat. Which I am and I am working on it, but such is life. I know a lot of people like you who are super thin and still look thin even when they are pregnant but actually have gained weight. You know what is right for you and your body. Oh and your baby is soo cute. Please tell Brad I said Hi,

  12. Amy-you are hilarious! I was just catching up on your baby and your blog. I think when you are pregnant people make crazy comments no matter what-fat or skinny. I would get things like this ALL the time, "Are you sure you are not farther along than you think? You look like you are due any day now." "are you having twins?" (they are dead serious) "WoW! You look HUGE!" I am just like, Seriously!? I think when people are pregnant they feel like they can just walk up and say anything. I remember when Erika Chapman had her baby someone said to me, "Wow, she was as big as you and she just delivered." (I was only like 4 1/2 months along. HELLO people, get a clue! But, as you know now...it is worth it. Enjoy the little one. Love, Natalie